Some tips that facilitate interpersonal dialogue.
When you express your opinion:
- Explain your own reasoning. That is, explain how you arrived at that opinion and the "data" on which it is based.
- Encourage others to explore your opinion: Do you see gaps in my reasoning?
- Encourage others to present other points of view: Do they have other data or other conclusions?
- Investigate other people's opinions that differ from yours: What do you think? How did you arrive at your point of view? Do you take into account facts that I don't know?
When investigating other people's points of view:
- If you have assumptions about other people's views, state them clearly and acknowledge that they are assumptions.
- Describe the “data” on which these assumptions are based.
- Don't bother asking questions if you're not genuinely interested in the answer (i.e., if you're just trying to be polite or expose someone else's weaknesses).
When dialogue gets stuck:
- Ask what data or logic might induce them to change their minds.
- Ask if there is a way to design a joint inquiry that will provide new information.
When you or others hesitate to express your point of view or experiment with alternative ideas:
- Have both you and others express out loud where the difficulty lies (e.g., What is it about this situation, and about me or others, that makes it so difficult to maintain open discussion?
- If there is a shared desire to do so, work with others to develop ways to overcome these obstacles.
It's not about following these suggestions literally. Like the training wheels on your first bike, they help you get started and anticipate the taste of the real experience. Practice then allows us to get rid of them.
