You have probably heard of or perhaps worse yet, suffered from workplace bullying.
We know it's terrible, that it increases absenteeism, demotivation, and, in some places, lawsuits. We're clear that it's disruptive. Sometimes we even suspect with some certainty the amount of time people waste trying to manage others' aggression instead of producing, creating, thinking, innovating, and solving problems.
And although it may seem incredible, most of the time nothing is done…
But how does a businessperson adopt this attitude? Assuming that person isn't an abuser himself, are they appropriately sanctioning this destructive and counterproductive behavior?
Some answers
Most likely we are “denying” that this exists and is happening right under our noses.
Some people believe that bosses and managers should be tough and that some employees are overly sensitive. But from there to accepting excessive or malicious use of power...
Bad news: the “bad guys” don’t just work in other people’s organizations…
And then what happens?
1. We don't want to manage the conflict
It's understandable: you don't want to be bothered by petty things. Isn't it adult-like to forget and move on? The truth is, deep down, we already know the answer: we may all be under the same roof (real or metaphorical), but we have different beliefs and values, agendas, motivations, desires, and ways of doing things. Despite this, we are often able to find common ground that allows us to move forward in achieving our goals.
Other times we can't and there are people who are not even interested in doing this and prefer to intimidate, or even lie.
Unfortunately, in these cases, those in charge MUST step up and make things clear: this is not how we treat each other here. This is not how we relate to each other. This is not how we manage teams to achieve goals.
It doesn't always happen because…
2. We are too optimistic
Perhaps the perpetrator is the type of person who thinks that if they avoid dealing with the problem long enough, it will go away. And sometimes that's true: some issues will tend to diminish. But not exactly these. Abusers often believe that if no one did anything, then their behavior is right, and they become more aggressive and manipulative, especially when they need or want something.
And it's much easier to look the other way when we're dealing with a technically competent person.
3. The collaborators are taking us as examples
The actions and inactions of those responsible speak volumes about what is important and what is not, and say much more than any corporate rhetoric or declaration of values.
Abusers then get the message that they can do whatever they want without interference.
4. HR is powerless, untrained, blind, or all of the above.
Assuming HR exists, they've probably already raised the issue, not once but several times... either they themselves are the victims of abuse, or it's difficult to discern between a personality conflict and a unilateral attempt to dominate.
Whatever the reasons, some HR departments are often of little use in these matters.
So here we are: abusers persist simply because they have the opportunity to do so.
That's why I think it's worth taking a moment to think about, if only for a moment, the amount of emotional energy your employees are expending to endure the situation, which they could be using instead to solve problems and provide better customer service.
What's left to do? Simple: confront and manage the issue. Open your eyes. Invest in training, coaching, and, above all, put the pieces together with the key players.
Those who suffer these situations will be grateful!!
Lic. Viviana Liptzis
Master in Organizational Development and Behavior
